Looking for Kana's Eyes
by Darkling183
Summary: Cowritten by JPop4Life and Darkling as part of the Kana: Write A Fun Fanfic Online! project. A few months after moving away from home, Kana starts having problems with her vision. Can Taka help her find a solution that isn't too unsightly?
1. 1 to 6

**Looking for Kana's Eyes, parts 1 - 6**

This story was written online as part of the Kana: WAFFO! (Write A Fun Fanfic Online) project. Odd-numbered instalments were written by JPop4Life, and even-numbered instalments were written by Darkling.

You can find out more about Kana: WAFFO! at the 'Fan Fiction' board at The Anime Place:

forums. theanimeplace. com (**remove spaces**)

* * *

**1. **

The sun shines through the clear blue sky. In the burning sun and overheated nights, it's just another day in the seemingly endless row of summer days. It's the middle of the afternoon and I'm just lounging on the couch, trying to read.

It's so hot I can't even focus on what I'm looking at. The pictures are blurred and the words are hard to read.

"It must be this heat."

My eyes drift towards my desk, finding my clock.

…

…

…

_I guess I'll see what they're doing._

I shake my head, clearing my vision. I spring upward and grab my purse nearby. I put on my shoes and head down the stairs towards the front door.

_-click-_

I lock the door to the bookstore and walk on my way.

-----

"Whew... I'm finally here," I say, looking upon the familiar home.

I search for my keys, walking to the door.

"Ah, here."

I bring the keys out in front of me.

"Now which one is it-- ah!"

The key slides in and a twist unlocks the door, allowing me inside.

"Tadaima!" I announce. I see a peeking head from the couch turn my way. He jumps up and walks to me.

I slip off my shoes and skip towards him.

The gap closes and we embrace each other.

"Okaeri, Kana. What are you doing here?" he asks.

"Well... it's so hot at the bookstore I had to get out of there. It's cooler over here and besides, I know it's been a while since I saw you guys."

"Well, I'm glad to see that you're doing well. You want anything to drink?"

"Hai." I take a scan of the room. "Where's Otousan and Okaasan?"

I hear his response coming from the kitchen. "Working... what else?"

_I should have guessed._

I sit on the couch and watch TV. I'm watching some travel channel about some guy looking around England. I try to focus but I have a tense feeling in my forehead. It's hard to concentrate.

"Kana?"

"Huh?" I dart my head upwards.

"Is something wrong, Kana? It looked like you were crying or something," Taka says.

He sets down two iced teas on the table and sits by my side.

"Oh no... I'm just trying to watch TV," I say.

"I see," he says, turning his attention to the TV.

Sipping on iced tea, we silently watch what's happening on the screen... except for my occasional questions.

…

…

…

"What's that?"

"That's a pound."

…

…

…

"What does that say?"

"Long live the Queen."

…

…

…

"Hey... isn't that, uh--"

"Kana."

The TV goes blank as Taka faces me.

"Are you sure you're okay, Kana?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Kana..."

Taka sits up and kneels in front me.

He's looking straight at me. Looking right at my eyes.

"You've been having more trouble than usual with the TV."

"Well... I think because of this heat and my head hurts a litt--"

"Kana."

"Yes, Bro?"

…

…

…

"I think it's time you got glasses."

* * *

**2. **

"Glasses?" I can't look at him. Instead I keep my attention on the TV screen. The reception is awful. "Oh, my eyes aren't _that_ bad, Bro. I think... I just have a bit of heatstroke, that's all. Maybe if you could turn up the air conditioning a bit...?"

"Kana." He reaches out and takes my hands, in that firm but gentle grip. Just like the hold he has-- _used_ to have, on my heart. He would tell me things and I'd know that it had nothing to do with what _he_ wanted - it was all about me. It was always about me. "Kana, it won't be as bad as you think. All you have to do is visit an optometrist. I'll go with you."

"That's okay, Bro, really," I protest, weakly. I tug my hands from his grasp and get to my feet, a bit unsteadily. "Do you want some more tea? I'll go get it."

I grab the two glasses - which are still half-full - and carry them into the kitchen. Bro doesn't follow me. He knows I don't react well when he presses an issue right away.

But this _isn't_ an issue, is it? My eyes are fine! Sure, I have trouble reading invoices sometimes at the bookstore, but that's just because the overhead lights aren't bright enough. I still read as much as I ever did - lying in bed at night with a little reading lamp, with the book pressed almost to my nose. And sure, sometimes when I'm out walking I can't tell if that blur in the distance is a person or a car or just a tree or something, but I... I don't need--

I don't _want_ to have to wear glasses! I just don't want to!

"Kana?" Bro calls, from the living room. I can hear the sound of the TV again; he must have turned it back on. "Kana, hurry up. The show's almost back on!"

"I'll... I'll be right there," I mumble. Suddenly it feels much too cold in here. I need some fresh air and sunlight. The glass door leading out to the back yard is open - so typical of Bro to leave it open even when the air conditioning is on. I'll just step out for a minute and--

_Smack!_

"Oww!" I scream. The door was closed!

"Kana?" Bro's in the doorway from the living room, looking concerned. "Kana, what happened?"

"I... I don't need glasses," I mumble, stubbornly, rubbing my aching nose.

* * *

**3. **

"Arigato gozaimasu."

I bow, sending the customer on his way. The store is empty now and there aren't a whole lot of people walking around anymore.

"I guess I'll close up," I say, glancing at the time.

I go over to the closet to grab a broom. I turn on the light switch and...

_-bzzz-_

The light bulb goes out. It's hard to see but I use the trailing light from the store. I spot the broom handle and grab a hold of it. I pull it out and place it next to my foot.

"Now where is the dust-- oh!"

My foot is wet. I look down and realized I grabbed the mop instead.

_How silly of me._

I place the mop back and find the broom and dustpan and begin sweeping.

-----

I finish cleaning and head upstairs. I realize I need to grab a few items from the store before I begin cooking. So I take a quick shower and get ready to go outside.

The streets are dark, with only the street lamps providing light. I walk through the night, reaching the supermarket. I grab a hand basket and walk inside.

I grab what I need and wait in line. I have some soy sauce, hot sauce, vegetables, tea bags and some chicken.

The checker rings up my order. I look at the total.

$130!!!

"Your total is $13.57, please."

"Huh?"

I look at the total again. But this time I try looking harder. With effort I'm able to rid myself of a blurry zero and see that the true total is $13.57.

I pay for my groceries and head home.

-----

I'm home now and I've just put away my groceries.

_Why did I put them away? I'm going to be using them soon anyway._

I slice up the chicken and start frying it. The sound of chopped vegetables fill the room.

"Humm mmm mmmm."

I hum away as I cook, throwing the vegetables into the pan, adding some soy sauce and hot sauce. I turn off the heat, ready to serve myself dinner.

I have some tea and rice with it and I begin to eat.

"Itadakimasu!"

…

…

…

"Urmph!"

I choke after only taking one bite. I cough up bits of chicken and vegetable.

"This doesn't taste very good."

I carefully take another bite. The taste is wrong and it's not hot at all. It tastes a little too sweet and doesn't go well with anything.

I force myself to finish my dinner and start to clean up the dishes.

I put the sauces back into the fridge and--

I notice I'm holding teriyaki sauce and ketchup.

"How could I grab these by mistake!?!?"

-----

Tired, I fall into my bed and turn on the TV. I flip through the channels but I don't see anything good on. Or...

…I can't tell what _is_ on.

I quickly turn off the TV.

_-sigh-_

_"I think it's time you got glasses."_

Bro's words echo into my mind.

Everything today has gone wrong. I couldn't do anything right because I can't see clearly. How can I do anything if I can't see?

I turn off my lamp and try to go to sleep.

_-sigh-_

"I guess I need glasses," I say, sadly.

* * *

**4. **

Out of habit, I'm walking through the shopping district in town. Kana and I used to come here a lot before she moved out. We couldn't be as close as we might have liked - Kana usually didn't even want to hold _hands_ out in public - but it was time away from the house, time away from Mom and Dad.

I smile as I see the noodle house where we had lunch a few times. Kana's appetite didn't really increase all that much after her transplant operation, but she was still eager to try new dishes. She methodically went through the menu, trying something different each time.

Maybe I'll stop in and have lunch there, for old times' sake. I pause, looking up and down the street for oncoming traffic.

Something catches my eye. A window display.

I turn right and head up the street. It's an optometrist's window, the display filled with free-standing racks of eyeglasses. All different colours and styles, from thick-rimmed black glasses to elegant fashionable designs for women.

"Kana would look good in those," I murmur to myself, looking at a set of gold frames with rounded rims. "Or maybe those..." I add, as my attention drifts to a different pair. Deep green, with a swirly marbling effect on the frames. _They're more dramatic; they'd provide contrast to Kana's pale skin. But maybe that wouldn't be a good thing? Kana doesn't like to draw attention to herself. Well, in that case..._

All thoughts of lunch forgotten, I push the door open and walk into the store for a better look. Looks like it's going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

**5. **

I walk out of the store, satisfied with my work. I took a look around and asked some questions about glasses. The lady there showed me several pairs and the basic different styles glasses come in these days. The lady also pointed out contacts and maybe laser eye surgery somewhere down the road. She even gave me a brochure to show Kana.

"Kana will see glasses aren't so bad after all," I say, heading home.

_-growl-_

I stop in my tracks, grabbing my stomach. I look back around and spot the noodle house I thought of earlier.

"Bro?"

As I turn around, I find Kana's hand on me, spinning me around. I take a glance and notice she's in her regular clothing. She must not be working today.

"Hi, Kana." I lightly embrace her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hehe. I was going to ask you the same question." Kana's eyes scan the area. "I was headed towards our noodle shop today."

"That's funny. I was just headed that way. You want to go eat together?"

"Hai."

Kana and I head to _our_ noodle shop. We talk about her work and what's new at home. All the while I look at her swinging arm beside her.

-----

"So what are you going to eat, Kana?" I ask. "Are you going to try something new again?"

"Well..." Kana buries her head in the menu. She silently reads the menu. She isn't mentioning anything that catches her eye.

_If she's even reading it._

The waiter comes by and takes our order.

"I'll have beef udon, please."

"I'll have the same too," Kana says.

I'm a little surprised at Kana's response. Her body seems like it's sunken in itself. Like it's embarrassed or something.

"Is everything okay, Kana?"

No response. Kana didn't even notice I was talking to her.

"Kana?" I ask again.

_She seems really into herself. She doesn't hear me at all._

…

I think to myself, trying to find a way to snap Kana out of it. I look at my side and see the glasses information I had gotten earlier.

I pull out the envelope and lay out the contents in front of Kana. Kana's eyes drift towards the main brochure.

"Bro?"

"I was out earlier and I picked up some stuff about glasses, contacts or whatever for your eyes."

"Ah. Thank you, Bro." Kana quickly packs everything in the envelope. "I'll look at it when I get home."

What's the deal? Kana's acting so nervous for some reason. It can't be because of the whole glasses thing, can it?

What could be the big deal about glasses?

* * *

**6. **

_"Four-eyes! Four-eyes! Sayuri's a four-eyes!" _

_"I didn't think she could_ get _any uglier!" _

_"Hahaha!" _

_Poor Sayuri-chan. She came to school wearing glasses today. Her parents got them for her because she has trouble seeing the blackboard. _

_I think they look nice. They're light blue and very pretty. But I don't think Sayuri would care what I think. She's not a popular girl in the class, but she's still more popular than me. _

_The other children are gathered around her now, pointing and laughing and doing little dances. Sayuri-chan looks like she's going to burst into tears at any moment. I feel awful for being glad that it's not_ me _who's the centre of their attention. It's not fun to be teased. _

_"Sayuri's got four eyes. Sayuri tells lots of lies! Sayuri eats dead flies! That's what Sayuri does!" Kenji-kun starts a little chant, and the other kids all pick up on it gleefully. "Sayuri's got_ four _eyes! Sayuri _tells _lots of..." _

_It's too much. Sobbing, Sayuri gets up from her seat and runs blindly out of the classroom. Three or four of the boys chase after her. Their mocking chants slowly fade into the distance. _

_I sit quietly at my desk. Ten minutes until class starts. It's mathematics first up. I-- _

_Poor Sayuri-chan. Poor, poor Sayuri-chan. _

_I'm so glad I don't have to wear glasses. _


	2. 7 to 12

**Looking for Kana's Eyes, parts 7 - 12**

This story was written online as part of the Kana: WAFFO! (Write A Fun Fanfic Online) project. Odd-numbered instalments were written by JPop4Life, and even-numbered instalments were written by Darkling.

You can find out more about Kana: WAFFO! at the 'Fan Fiction' board at The Anime Place:

forums. theanimeplace. com (**remove spaces**)

* * *

**7. **

I'm looking over the things Bro gave me yesterday. It's ironic. I'm trying to read something about glasses. Wouldn't you question someone looking at a glasses catalog without glasses?

_-sigh- _

"Let's see..."

I've been looking at this for more than an hour. And I still don't feel any better about it.

"Full frames, half frames, no frames..."

I think about Sayuri-chan and how she was picked on for wearing glasses. I was picked on enough already, and I don't want that kind of attention anymore.

It's strange, though. I know my eyes haven't always been perfect but, when I really found out I needed glasses, I just seemed to be more and more helpless because of it.

_-sigh- _

I continue to flip through the pages.

"Hard contacts, soft contacts, colored contacts."

Contacts don't sound too bad. No one will notice I'm wearing them, and I'll be able to see.

"Hmmm..." My fingers stop on a page.

"Laser eye surgery, huh?"

I could have my eyes fixed and I won't need to bother with glasses or contacts.

I hop up and skip towards the bathroom, almost misjudging the distance. I step inside and look at myself in the mirror.

_I'm pretty like this. I don't want to have four eyes._

I pull out a marker and draw two circles on the mirror. I line my eyes inside of them and stare at the image.

"I like the way I look and I'm not going to change it."

I clean my mirror and get ready for bed.

"I'll let Bro know this weekend I'm getting laser eye surgery."

Feeling better, I turn in for the night.

-----

"Kana? Okaeri."

"Hi, Bro."

I walk inside, lightly embracing him.

"Are Mom and Dad at work again?" I say disappointedly.

"Well... no. They went out together just a little while ago."

_Figures._

"Anyway, here."

"What's this?"

"I want to get laser eye surgery. Isn't that great? I didn't think there was such a thing, but you kno--"

"Kana?"

"Yes, Bro?"

"Didn't you read this?"

_Oh, no..._

"Read what?" With a shaky voice.

"You have to be at least 25 years old to get it. And there could be medical complications as well."

_Well, crap..._

_-sigh- _

"Back to square one, I guess."

"I'm sorry, Kana."

"Well... I could still get contacts. And then it still won't look like--"

I hastily stop short.

"Look like what?"

"Oh! Nothing, Bro."

He sighs, handing me back the page.

"Kana, why don't we go talk to someone." He gently places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure we can find something right for you."

"Okay, Bro..."

Bro opens his arms and I meekly walk into them. He hugs me. It's comforting.

_I don't want to have four eyes._

He releases me and leans in front of me.

"Hey, Kana."

"What?"

"Mmrmrrrnnnnn."

He makes a funny noise and pushes his cross-eyed face in front of mine. It causes me to fall, landing on my bottom.

"Hahahaha!" He laughs.

"That's not nice, Bro!"

"Haha... gomen. You don't have to worry, Kana. It's not that serious."

"Hrmph." I cross my arms and look away.

He continues to laugh at me sitting on the ground, at my expense.

* * *

**8. **

I notice them everywhere I go now. They never really registered with me before, but now it's as if I can't turn around without seeing one of them. People wearing glasses.

I can't help but turn my head and follow them for a moment as they walk past me. Schoolgirls chattering with their friends. Businessmen talking on their cell phones. Young women clinging to their boyfriends' arms. I stand in a bright haze as they drift and flow around me in slow motion.

What do I think when I look at these people? Would my opinion be any different if they _weren't_ wearing glasses? Do their glasses make them look intelligent? Fashionable? Unfortunate? Are they happy walking around with these things on their faces that show that they're somehow... deficient?

"It's not their fault," I murmur to myself, sadly, as I turn and continue on my way down the street. "It's not... not _my_ fault that my eyes are bad. And it would be silly not to wear glasses just out of... out of sheer vanity."

Another one walks past me - a middle-aged lady with greying hair up in a bun. Her glasses are perched neatly on the bridge of her nose. The lenses make her eyes look larger than they are. She returns my stare curiously for a moment as she walks past me. The glasses make her look motherly. Grown up.

I pause and look at my blurry reflection in a nearby window, trying to visualise a pair of glasses on my face. Who would I be, then? What image would _I_ be presenting to the world?

"Who... do I _want_ to be?" I mumble, looking down at my shoes. My reflection looks down as well, pale and wan in the tinted glass. It doesn't answer me.

* * *

**9. **

"Yeah... I don't get it."

"Hmm..."

She sits there in front of me, bouncing a finger off her chin.

"It's like she's scared about something," I say.

I'm at the hospital, talking to Miki. It's been over a year since I last saw her. She was wondering about Kana. She sort of freaked out when I wanted to talk to her about Kana, thinking something went wrong. But I've asked Miki's input as to why Kana is acting so strange about glasses.

"Glasses aren't that big of a deal. I mean, everyone has them now. They shouldn't be too much of hassle to take care of. So I don't see--"

"Taka."

"Yes, Miki?"

"It seems you don't quite know enough about women yet, huh?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well... a woman cares about the way she looks. She always wants to look beautiful in the eyes of loved ones and strangers. Kana is no different. No matter how much you tell them it doesn't matter how they look to you, it matters how much they look for you."

"But I mean, glasses aren't that--"

"It's true glasses have changed over the years. More people do have them and they come in a variety of styles. But not too long ago some people, especially young kids, were made fun of for having glasses. Kana may feel something from something she saw in the past or maybe... maybe she doesn't doesn't want them covering up her face."

"Hmmm... I think I get it."

Slowly but surely, Miki leans seductively towards me.

"Hey, Taka."

_-gulp- _

"Y-ye-yeah, Miki?"

Miki moves in closer. Closer to me. Her beautiful, never aging face and luscious body seem to draw me into her.

"There's something I've been meaning to show you."

She moves in, her face in front of mine, my body frozen from movement. Miki's face is no further away than my breath can reach.

…

…

…

"Ah, there."

"Huh?"

I look at Miki and she's holding out a finger upwards. She's holding a small bowl-shaped object there. I look at her eyes and see her purple eye, which I've always known, and a hazel eye.

"Miki? You wear contacts?"

"Yup... I've had them forever. Surprised, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, how was I supposed to know? You don't even have natural purple eyes like I thought."

"Haha. Well, when I was getting my eyes checked, I had just met Kana and saw her wonderful purple eyes. I wanted purple eyes too, so I got contacts that changed my eyes to purple just like Kana's. Then when I saw you and everyone else with purple eyes, it just made me want to keep them."

"I see. So have you ever worn glasses before?" I ask.

"I did, yes. But I didn't like them. Sometimes they would get bumped off, scratched or something. But I was made fun of when I was younger."

"I'm sorry, Miki."

"It's okay. I don't mind now. But that's when I moved to contacts."

"So do you think Kana would like contacts better than glasses?"

Miki sticks her finger in her eye. It looks dangerous, but she does it with ease, as if it was second nature.

"That depends on what Kana wants. She won't know till she tries. It will give her an experience in life."

"Well, she's always wanted to experience life. But I don't think this was one of those experiences."

"Experiences come as they please. That is the ultimate experience in life itself. But I'm sure Kana will find out that each experience is enjoyable in its own way."

"I sure hope so. Thank you, Miki."

"You're welcome, Taka."

* * *

**10. **

It's quiet in the bookstore, and I'm taking advantage of the lull to paste more pictures into my scrapbook.

I've started buying magazines recently - all kinds of magazines, on a variety of subjects. And then, in my spare time, I browse through them and I clip out pictures of people wearing glasses.

"There," I murmur, as I paste my most recent clipping into the book. It's an ad for a dietary fibre product that's supposed to keep you regular. A middle-aged woman is out in the middle of a meadow with a young boy running along next to her. She's wearing glasses.

I've started sensing a pattern. I've gotten lots of clippings from magazines targeted at older readers - ones that cover political or business issues, for example. There are lots of photos of politicians and executives and academics. But I can go through an entire fashion magazine and not find a single picture of anyone wearing glasses.

The message seems to be this: _beautiful people don't wear glasses_.

Slowly, I flip through the pages of my scrapbook. Parents wearing glasses. Scientists wearing glasses. Retired couples wearing glasses.

It doesn't matter what style or colour the glasses are. People my age just aren't shown wearing them. There has to be a reason for that, right?

Of course there is. _Young_ people don't wear glasses. Or at least, not young people who want to be popular and attractive.

And I... I want--

The door to the bookstore swings open, and I look up with a start, automatically flipping the scrapbook closed with my right hand. "Good afternoon, and wel--" I start, then break off, feeling a smile spreading across my face. "Bro!"

* * *

**11. **

"Hey, Kana," he says.

He approaches me at the counter, smiling as well.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

At that moment I look down under my right hand, realizing that there could only be one reason why Bro has come to see me. It makes me frown for a second, but I catch it at the last moment.

"Well... I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Nothing..."

_Are we going to..._

"Why do you ask?"

"Let's schedule an eye appointment then. You don't have to worry. I'll come with you."

"Oh..." I sulkily reply.

_Why do I have to get glasses? Why do my eyes have to be bad? Why does it have to be me?_

I'm caught off guard by Bro's embrace. He calmly speaks to me, stroking my hair.

"It's not so bad, Kana," he says. "There are more people than you know that need help for their eyes."

I slowly nod my head.

"You know, Miki has to wear contacts."

"Miki wears contacts?" I ask, surprised.

"Yup... I just saw her the other day and she showed them to me."

"I didn't know."

"Neither did I. Did you also know purple isn't her natural eye color? She actually had hazel eyes until she met you."

"Until... she met me?"

"Yeah... She liked the way your eyes looked, so she got contacts that did that for her as well."

_So Miki needed help for her eyes as well._

I look down at the scrapbook, thinking about all of the images I saw.

_Miki still looks beautiful with her contacts... Then maybe I can still be pretty with contacts, too..._

I draw away from Bro and look into his eyes as he looks into mine.

_...I'm sure he'll think I'm pretty still._

* * *

**12. **

_It's exciting._

I'm lying in the bathtub, wisps of steam rising all around me from the surface of the hot water. My hair is bundled up in a towel above my head, freshly shampooed. My knees are drawn up slightly, forming an arch. They're shaking a bit.

I'm glad that Bro visited today. It takes me forever to make decisions, and I would have kept putting it off. It's not a big deal, is it - having an eye exam? And it just means that I can get my contact lenses sooner.

Contact lenses. I had no idea Miki wore them. And what Bro said... Is that true? Can people really change the colour of their eyes? And did... did Miki really change hers to match... mine?

Impulsively, I climb out of the bathtub. Still dripping wet, I walk over to the mirror and wipe a small patch clear with the palm of my hand.

I lean closer.

No-one I know has violet eyes, except Bro. Even Miki's eyes aren't the same shade as mine - they're more of a deep maroon. I always wondered about that; I'd never seen eyes _that_ colour either. I guess it's because her contacts deepen the real colour of her eyes.

Hazel. I don't understand why she wanted to change her eye colour. Hazel is so pretty. It's so much more... _normal_ than my--

No. I close my eyes, fighting back the memories that suddenly start surging back to the surface of my mind. Children laughing at me. Mocking me for being different. Just because my eyes weren't the same colour as theirs. Any excuse...

"No..." I whisper, softly, but it's too late. As I open my eyes, I feel the tears trickling down my cheek. It hurts. It _hurts_.

_I don't have to be different anymore._

The thought comes out of the blue, surprising me. I lean forward again, examining my violet irises. They don't have to stay that way. I can change.

I can _change_...


	3. 13 to 17

**Looking for Kana's Eyes, parts 13 - 17**

This story was written online as part of the Kana: WAFFO! (Write A Fun Fanfic Online) project. Odd-numbered instalments were written by JPop4Life, and even-numbered instalments were written by Darkling.

You can find out more about Kana: WAFFO! at the 'Fan Fiction' board at The Anime Place:

forums. theanimeplace. com (**remove spaces**)

* * *

**13. **

It's time...

"...so we're going with soft contacts and..."

The lady is helping Kana with her choice of contacts while I'm sitting down looking at a magazine. I offered to help Kana, but she decided she wanted to handle this on her own.

"Okay. So we'll go with this, then."

Kana nods as the lady takes the rest of the paperwork. Kana sits next to me.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Everything's fine," she says.

"Kana Todo?"

A gentleman comes from the back, asking for Kana. It must be the doctor for her eye exam. Kana stands up and heads with him.

"I'm Doctor Tanaka. Please come with me."

"I'll be back soon, Bro." Kana waves as she walks into the back room.

-----

"Please have a seat."

I sit down in the examination chair and look around. The room is dimly lit, and there's a big contraption full of lenses and stuff.

The doctor asks some simple questions since I've never had an eye exam before. He writes his notes down and begins the examination.

"Okay... Put your chin here for me, please."

Doctor Tanaka brings the lens contraption in front of me.

"This will help us figure out what we need for your eyes."

I follow every instruction he gives me, trying the best I can with what he asks.

"Okay. I'm going to just look at your left eye first. Now..."

He turns off the lights, but I can see a reflection of light with some letters.

"Let me see if you can read... this line for me, please."

"Um... A, V... uhhh, Z, E and T?"

"You only see five letters, Kana?"

"Think so," I uncertainly say.

"Well... let's see how you do with this."

"Um... T, U... um, 5--"

"5? Well, let's try something else. Just so you know, there are no numbers, Kana."

"Oh!"

The letters move and they're larger than the ones before. It's easier to read those.

"Let's see... B, V, C, F, T, O."

It goes on like that for a little bit then he swings around some lenses.

"Okay... How does this look?"

He flips a glass lens down and it clears my vision.

"Good."

"How about this..."

That goes on for a while, then he moves to my other eye and repeats the process.

"Okay, Kana... Now I'm going to look at your eyes and see if they're healthy."

He shines a light in my eye.

_Oh, good god!_

The bright light hits my retina, almost making me want to shut my eye. But I endure the procedure.

"Good... Now I'm going to put this in your eyes. You'll feel a bit of pressure and I'll look at your eyes again."

Before I get a chance to say anything he tilts my head back and squeezes a couple of drops in each of my eyes.

_AAAAHHHHHH!!!_

I've never had anything in my eyes before. I feel the pressure he talks about and it makes me want to cry.

"I'll need you to try to keep them open, please."

It must be the most difficult thing I've had to do. I try to force my eyes open but it seems I'm only doing half as good of a job I should. I feel liquid run down the sides of my cheeks.

Must... keep... eyes... open...

"Okay. That's it. Your eyes look good."

He hands me a box of tissues which I quickly grab and begin to clean my face. Doctor Tanaka finishes explaining what my eyes mean.

Basically, I'm near sighted. I can see better closer than I can far away. I do need glasses badly, he says. But everything went well. With that, he leads me back to the front desk.

"All right, Kana. We have your prescription and everything is set. It will take about fourteen business days for them to come in."

"Okay. Thank you," I say.

I catch up with Bro on the way out as we head back home.

"So how did it go?" he asks.

"It was hard with him shining his light in my eyes, and the stuff he put in them," I say, scratching my eyes.

He laughs. "Well, you better get used to that sort of thing."

"I think it'll be easier when I do it. Besides, if Miki can do it then why can't I?"

"Hmm..."

It's the last word he speaks before changing the subject as we both head back home.

* * *

**14. **

"Bro?"

"Hmm?" I turn to look at Kana, who's sitting next to me in the train carriage. Brief flashes of light dart across her face as the sun glances off the buildings nearby. Her eyes still look a bit bleary, but they're getting clearer.

_Ka-thunk-ka-THUNK, ka-thunk-ka-THUNK..._

"I was just, um, wondering..." she starts, then trails off, looking down at her white sneakers. "...if you... th-that is, what you thought... of..."

"Kana?"

She's still not looking at me. The train rocks gently as it hurtles down the track. Our stop will be coming up soon. Mom and Dad won't be home tonight, so Kana and I are going to have dinner together. Well, actually, Kana's going to _cook_ dinner. She wanted to repay me for going with her to the optometrist's today.

Kana bites her lip, her brow creasing slightly. "Um... how long it's going to take," she says, finally, her shoulders slumping. "Don't you think fourteen days is a long time?"

"Contacts can't be easy to make," I say, offhandedly, not knowing much about the subject. "And companies like that have a lot of clients to cater for."

"Yes," Kana murmurs, with a sigh. "People need to replace their contacts every few weeks, so you have to keep ordering new ones."

"Kana?" I reach over and take her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Her eyes widen, then she turns and looks at me, her violet eyes warm. "It'll be okay," I tell her. "It'll all be fine."

She smiles. "I know, Bro." Her fingers tighten around mine. "I just... Oh."

The train flashes past a huge billboard advertising cellular phones. It's a close-up of a girl's face, holding the phone up next to her to show how small it is. The slogan reads: 'Choose your look.'

"It's a nice phone," I say, non-committally.

"No, I was..." Kana's head droops again. "I was looking at the girl."

"You want one of _those_ that you can keep in your pocket?" I tease.

"Bro!" she sputters, in protest. "Don't be so... so... dirty!"

"Well, what was it, then?" I ask.

"I... I see her in a lot of ads," Kana says, wistfully. "I think she has beautiful eyes. Brown eyes... so warm and friendly. Don't you think, Bro?"

I shrug. "I've never really noticed her before."

"So you... you _don't_ think brown eyes are pretty?"

"I didn't say that. But..." I let my head tilt back a bit as I picture the girl on the billboard again. She was definitely pretty, yes, in a photo model kind of way. But still... "I prefer your eyes, Kana."

"M-mine?" She looks frightened for some reason. I look at her again and smile.

"Your eyes have always been the prettiest to me."

"Ah." Her cheeks start to colour slightly. "I... uh..."

I tighten my grip on her hand again. "You'll look just fine, Kana," I tell her. "After all, no-one will be able to _see_ the contacts, right? You won't look any different to the way you did before."

Kana's fingers twitch briefly in my grasp. She sighs.

"Yes. I guess..."

* * *

**15. **

Taking care of the store, reading my books and watching TV, all I could think about was how the new contacts were going to make all of this easier... even possible. The phone rings and I answer it. The conversation finishes, and I slowly set the phone down with a smile.

_...They're here._

-----

I'm at the optometrist's office, awaiting my contacts. The lady brings me a small box and opens it up. She begins to explain what's inside.

"This is where you put your contacts. And this is your cleaning solution. Remember to take them out every night and make sure you clean them every time before you put them in your eyes."

"Okay... Thank you. Um... when do I have to get new contacts again?" I ask.

"Oh, not for another month. We have you already on schedule, so you can just come by every month and pick them up."

"Oh, I see... Thank you."

I grab my new contacts and head home to try my new eyes for the first time.

-----

I've laid out all of the stuff on the bathroom counter and begin to quickly prepare my contacts for use.

"Okay... make sure my hands are clean..."

_-washing hands- _

"...then I take the contact and clean it with the solution."

_-drip... drip... drip- _

"...then I just lift up my eye and--"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

* * *

**16. **

"Hey, Kana."

"Bro!" I look at him, smiling, as he walks up to the counter. It's late morning and the street outside is almost painfully bright, as usual at this time of year. The sun glares off car windows as they drive past outside, and casts bright halos around the shoppers walking down the street. "I didn't expect to see you again so soon!"

He grins at me as I step out from behind the counter, then gives me a brief hug. He doesn't like to venture into 'employee territory' when he's here. ("Someone might think I actually work here!" was the way he put it when I asked.)

"So?" he asks, drawing back and looking at my face appraisingly.

I blush instinctively under his scrutiny. "Um... so...?"

"Your new eyes, silly!" He laughs. "You got your contacts yesterday, right? How are they?"

"Oh!" I summon a smile from somewhere. "They're great, Bro. I don't know how I got by without them. Everything is so much clearer now."

"That's great, Kana! See? It wasn't such a big deal after all, was it?"

"Not... at all!" I manage, keeping the bright smile plastered on my face. "I honestly don't know what I was making such a fuss about..."

"I'm glad." He grins at me for a moment, then looks back over his shoulder, casually. "Hey, Kana, do you like that girl's skirt?" he asks, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the street.

"Skirt?" I turn and look where he indicated, but no matter how hard I squint, I can't make anything out. Then I have to hide the amount of effort I was making as he turns around to face me again.

"Yeah, that girl over there in the green skirt. It's pretty, don't you think?"

"Oh, her!" I laugh. I _can_ just barely make out a greenish blob across the street. "I don't think it would suit me, but it looks good on her."

"Kana, that's a rubbish bin," Bro says.

"It is?" I laugh again, though it sounds more nervous than amused now. "The things they make skirts out of these days..."

"Kana, you're not _wearing_ your contacts, are you?"

"I, uh... of course I am. It's just so bright out there, and--"

"Kana."

"They hurt!" I wail. "I put one of them in yesterday and no-one told me it would _feel_ like that! There was... there was something in my eye! It just felt all wrong. It did!"

"So you're not going to wear them?" He doesn't sound disappointed, and he doesn't sound disapproving. His voice is very carefully neutral, and I sigh, knowing what that means. He's going to appeal to my common sense, the way he always does, without making an argument out of it. Oh, I _hate_ it when he does that! It's like he... he thinks he _knows_ me so well that... that...

Abruptly, I feel really warm inside. Warm, and almost embarrassed. Because he _does_ know me that well.

He does.

"Remember when we went and bought you those sneakers?" he asks, pointing at my feet.

I nod, biting my lip.

"You said they were too tight, and that they pinched your toes. We tried some different styles, but you didn't like the way those looked, so we kept coming back to these. And what did I tell you?"

"You said... you said they'd get more comfortable," I murmur. "You said I'd get used to them."

"And did you?"

"Well, yes. But--"

"You have to give it time. You have to give _yourself_ time. Kana?" He reaches out and gently lifts my chin with one finger. I look up at him reluctantly. His eyes are so kind. "No-one's around at the moment," he says, encouragingly. "Come on, Kana. Let's go give them another try."

I can't help but smile at him. "Okay, Bro."

* * *

**17. **

"Come on, Kana, you can do it."

Bro watches me as I stare at my contact case. I slowly open it up and pull out the contact. It sits on my finger, but I can't bring it any closer to my eye.

"Kana? Do you need any--"

"I'm fine, Bro. I can do this."

_It's no problem. It just simply goes into my eye. Everyone does it all the time. There's no reason I can't do it too._

I take my free hand and hold my eye open. Slowly... I bring the contact to my eye...

…

…

…

I quickly pull it away.

"Come on, Kana. You _can_ do this," Bro cheers me.

"I can do this... I _can_ do this..." I chant.

Again I try. I hold my eye open. I bring the contact upwards. Just a little bit more...

…

"Ah!"

No good.

I closed my eye at the last moment, not being able to follow through.

"You need to keep your eye open, Kana."

"Ah... hai."

_Why can't I do this?_

I look at myself in the mirror. I stare into my deep purple eyes. Those eyes that are so different from everyone else's.

I face myself. I gain my courage and composure. Again, I bring my contact to my eye.

"I'll do it this time."

Determined to overcome this, I keep my eye open and bring it into my eye.

_I can change._

I put the contact into my--

"Itai!"

"Kana!? Are you okay?"

"Ugh... I'm fine, Bro."

I poked my eye with my finger. The contact didn't stay in my eye and still rests on my finger.

"It's okay, Kana. You're almost there."

Moisture builds up in my eye. I quickly rub it, wiping growing tears away. I refocus myself again.

_This time I'm going to do it. Nothing's going to be accomplished unless I do this._

Again I go for it. I hold my eye open, I bring the contact towards me, I slowly... ever so gently, place it in my eye.

It's in! I got the contact in my eye. I feel a little bit of pressure, but it doesn't really hurt. However, I'm covering my eye at the unnatural feeling of it.

"I did it, Bro!"

"That's great, Kana! Let me take a look."

Bro gently moves my hand covering my eye and looks at me.

…

…

…

"Kana?"


	4. 18 to 23

**Looking for Kana's Eyes, parts 18 - 23**

This story was written online as part of the Kana: WAFFO! (Write A Fun Fanfic Online) project. Odd-numbered instalments were written by JPop4Life, and even-numbered instalments were written by Darkling.

You can find out more about Kana: WAFFO! at the 'Fan Fiction' board at The Anime Place:

forums. theanimeplace. com (**remove spaces**)

* * *

**18.**

"Um... surprise?" I say, hesitantly.

Bro looks at me strangely. His brow is slightly furrowed and his head is tilted to one side as he peers at my face.

"I... uh..." he says, uncertainly.

I look into the mirror. I don't seem to look any different from this far away. A little clearer, perhaps. But as I lean closer, I can _see_ the difference. The other Kana blinks back at me, meeting my gaze. One eye violet...

And the other eye brown.

I'm fixated by the difference. My gaze keeps shifting from one eye to the other. One deep violet; the other a warm, welcoming, _normal_ brown.

Normal. At last. I gasp and smile, feeling tears welling up.

I have to see them both. I want the transformation to be complete.

I take the other contact from the case. As I hold it up to the light, it doesn't _seem_ to be coloured all that deeply. The optician took measurements, though. The amount of tint was carefully judged to change my iris from one colour to another without affecting the lens transparency.

It's a bit easier putting the second one in. I have a few false starts, of course, but eventually the lens settles into place over my other eye. I turn to Bro, who's standing there looking thoughtful.

"Well?" I ask, blinking at him - partly for effect and partly because the contacts still feel a bit strange to me.

"When did you decide you wanted to change your eye colour?" he asks, leaning closer again.

"Oh. Um... well, I think it was when you told me about Miki," I tell him, looking into his eyes and smiling nervously. Will he like them? Will he think I'm pretty? "I realised that I had a chance to be different-- Well, no. It wasn't that. It's that... it's that I had a chance _not_ to be different anymore, Bro! I don't have to stand out anymore! Look!"

I turn to the mirror again, and a completely different Kana Todo looks back at me. Two brown eyes. It makes me want to squeal.

"I look so different!" I babble, grabbing Bro's arm and dragging him to stand next to me. "Look, Bro! Look at me!"

He does. His reflection smiles at me warmly, and he nods his head.

"If you're happy with them, Kana, then so am I. You look good."

"Thank you, Bro!" And now I _do_ squeal, clinging tightly to his side and looking up at him. "Oh, thank you so much! You were the one... The one... who..."

My words trail off. Oh, his lips are so close. His arm is around me.

My heart is pounding.

I lower my eyes. "Thank you, Bro," I whisper, in a subdued voice. "Thank you for everything."

* * *

**19. **

_Why was I so afraid? Why did I make such a big deal about it? Why didn't I do this sooner?_

It's a bright and shiny Sunday morning. I climb out and fix my bed before hopping into the shower. I wash then dry myself. I get dressed and happily stride to the bathroom.

Some facial cleanser, a little blush and I gently place my contacts in my eye. They've become a part of my morning routine. I grab my purse and walk outside.

I can happily see everything and everyone. Nothing has ever been so clear in my entire life. I prance around every store, acting like a little child.

I seem to touch everything, hold everything and examine everything like I've never seen it before. It's as if I was reborn, except this time, a new, stronger, better, Kana.

I eat lunch by myself but I'm finally able to see the entire menu without struggle. I feel satisfied being able to choose for myself what I want. As I eat, I look out the window to the outside world. It's so wonderful and lively. I actually can see people living. I can actually see what people do with their lives.

The sun begins to set, but it has little effect on my vision. It used to be harder when it got darker. Objects and people were even more blurry than before, if I even saw them.

But not this time. I swing my arms out and dance within the trees of a park. I feel so free and giddy, I keep spinning and spinning until I fall to the ground. From there I watch the leaves fall into the pond.

The sun has set and the night has filled the sky. I watch the fireflies fill the air with light, with the gentle breeze sweeping through the night. The stars are shining brightly above. I look upwards and spot each star shining differently in its own way. They no longer all just look the same.

Everything is great. Everything is wonderful. Everything is as good as I hoped...

"I'm so... so very happy," I say to myself.

…in fact, better.

* * *

**20. **

"Ohayo gozaimasu. Can I help you?"

"Hai. How much is the postage for a letter to France?"

"France? Well, air mail would be..."

I'm standing in line at the post office, listening to the buzz of conversation around me. It's mid-morning and I closed the shop briefly to duck out and pick up a package that's been waiting here for a couple of days, from one of the store's suppliers. This time of day is usually pretty slow at the store anyway.

To amuse myself while I'm waiting, I look around the post office. There are posters on the walls, and I can read even the smallest print on all of them! I pick out the French flag on a large banner on the far wall. I wonder what it would be like to visit Paris. Maybe one day, if I've saved enough... and if Bro wanted to come along...

"Miss?"

A voice filters into my pleasant daydreams.

"Excuse me. Miss?"

"Oh?" I look up, blushing. I've reached the front of the queue without even noticing, and the nice lady is calling to me. "Ohayo!" I say, brightly, as I approach the counter. I like this shop assistant; her name is Rie and she always asks me how I am.

"What can I help you with?" she asks.

Oh. "Um, a package came in for me a few days ago," I tell her, handing over the little paper slip. "Here."

"Ah. Let me just get that for you," she says, politely, and heads into the storage area. I watch her go, feeling a little disjointed. Why didn't she say hello?

Rie emerges from the access door with the package under her arm. "Here we go, miss," she says, looking down at the address on the parcel. "Miss... Oh, Todo-san! How are you?"

"I'm... just fine," I say, with a smile. "How have you been?"

"Oh, as well as can be expected!" she laughs, putting the parcel on the counter. Then she pauses, looking at me thoughtfully. "There's something different about you, but I can't quite put my finger... You look different, anyway. I almost didn't recognise you!" She laughs again, lightly. "Must be getting forgetful in my old age or something! Anyway, here you go. Hope to see you soon."

"Yes," I murmur, taking the package. "Yes, I hope so too..."

I walk away, more disturbed by the incident than I'm willing to admit to myself.

* * *

**21. **

I'm lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I finished my studies and I'm just letting my mind wander.

It's been several weeks since I've seen or heard from Kana. School has been keeping me busy and I don't have much time for anything else.

…

Actually, I've had plenty of time to see her or call her, but I haven't done it.

_I just... I just haven't felt like it, I guess._

I can't really explain it, but when I'm done studying and I ponder what I want to do, I just know that what I _don't_ want to do is go visit Kana. I don't really know why. Kana hasn't done anything or said anything to upset me. I know she's not busy all the time.

_So... why?_

I decide to change these thoughts. I spring up from my bed and get ready to go to Kana's bookstore.

-----

_Why?_

I'm on my way to the bookstore. It's not much further. Meanwhile, my mind still continues to ponder.

I'm not so sure about the reason. It's not like I'm afraid of anything. Afraid of what? I don't know. It's more like there's something I'd rather avoid.

_That's it..._

Avoiding something... There's just something unfamiliar about it all, and it makes me uncomfortable. And who likes to feel uncomfortable? If you can help it, wouldn't you avoid it?

_But what is it?_

I still don't know. It's like my heart knows the reason but I can't find the words to say it. And I guess since I can't put this feeling into words, that's why I've been avoiding Kana.

_Is that a good reason?_

I don't think it is. But that is the reason, even if I don't understand it.

I arrive at the bookstore and walk in. I find Kana's back facing me as she's putting more books on the shelf.

"Hi Kana. I'm ba... ack."

Kana turns around, smiling at me.

"Hi, Bro. Welcome back."

…

I know what it was. I know why I didn't want to see Kana. Why I was avoiding her as much as I could.

…

…

…

_You just don't look at me the same anymore..._

* * *

**22. **

"So, um... how's business today?" I ask.

"Not too bad," she says, still smiling. "I'm expecting more of a rush later this afternoon, so I thought I'd stock the shelves now, before it gets too busy."

"I... see." I can't look at her while I'm talking. It's... it's just too unnerving. It's Kana standing there; it's my little sister--

And yet, somehow, it's not.

"No class today?" she asks, as she turns back to her work. From behind, she looks the same as ever. She's skinny and almost stick-like in her dress and loose cardigan. She has hips, but they're not pronounced. Not really 'womanly'.

She's not the girl she was. But she's not quite a woman, either. She's somewhere in between.

"Bro?" she asks, in a preoccupied tone. "You okay?"

"What?" I shake my head, blinking. "Oh. I... I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep last night. I was up late studying."

"That's great, Bro. Do your best, ne?"

Do your best...

Suddenly, I flash back to Kana sitting in her hospital bed. I see my hand in hers. And I'm looking into her eyes as she looks back at me.

_"Bro, please... do your best. Study hard. Don't worry about me..." _

_"Kana..." _

_I see myself in her eyes. I see the trust and love - the_ faith _she has in me. I don't want to let her down..._

"...Bro? Bro!"

"Uh, wha--?" I come back to reality to find Kana looking at me, amused.

"Maybe you should go home and take a nap?" she suggests, with a smile. "You keep drifting off on me."

I look away from her eyes and that confident smile. It's... She isn't... But she's _happy_. She's happy now. Stop being selfish, Taka!

"Maybe I will." I nod, smiling back. I hesitate for a moment before going on. "My exams will be over in a couple of weeks. After that, I'll have more free time. Would you... do you think you'd like to..."

"Miss?" someone complains, loudly. "Excuse me - miss? Could I get some service here, please?"

"Oh. Hold that thought, Bro," Kana says, reaching out to pat my arm. "I'll be right back. Yes!" she calls, hurrying over to the counter. "What can I do for you?"

I stare after her, the words like a lump in my throat.

_Let's go have dinner together, Kana. Just you and me._

Why couldn't I say them?

Kana's behind the counter now. She smiles at the customer, her voice bright and cheerful. She's standing so tall and proud - not self-conscious at all.

I turn around and leave the store.

* * *

**23. **

"Thank you. Have a good day."

Things have been going smoothly as of late. Ever since I've worn my contacts, everything just feels...normal.

I can walk around town without people staring at me. I can walk into a store and ask for someone's help without a double take. I don't have to catch people pretending like they're not watching me. I know what they were looking at...

…my purple eyes.

I feel better, though. I know those wondering eyes no longer follow me around everywhere I go. It's almost like a dream come true. It's what I've always wanted... to be like everyone else. I'm just another face in the crowd. I don't have to stand out.

So I've been going out more and more. I've been shopping in stores I haven't been to, I've gotten onto the train and seen cities I haven't been to before, and I've even had the chance to go to a festival all by myself.

It's also helped that I can finally _see_. Taking in the beauties of the world. Enjoying all of nature's colors. I'm exploring the world and I'm doing it on my own.

…

…

…

So... why?

Why are some things... changing?

I've noticed it little by little, but it's showing more and more. There are times when I feel like... like I'm not there, like I've completely dissapeared.

When I talk to people, sometimes they seems to feel... lost, I think? It's like they don't know how to talk to me or what to say to me. The strange thing is that it's not strangers acting this way...

…it's everyone else I knew before.

I took a little time and saw Mom and Dad, but it felt like they didn't even know I was there. The staff at the cafe where I have breakfast haven't felt like my visits were special in any way. And...

…and he's been different the most.

It was a while inbetween the times I saw him. He hasn't even called me in a while. I know he's busy with school, but I didn't even know he left the last time I saw him. And even in that short time it just... just...

_...just wasn't him._

I'm happy. I know I am. Words can't describe how wonderful these last few weeks have been, and I look forward to even more wonderful days.

"Bro... what's wrong?" I ask...

…but no-one answers.


	5. 24 to 29

**Looking for Kana's Eyes, parts 24 - 29**

This story was written online as part of the Kana: WAFFO! (Write A Fun Fanfic Online) project. Odd-numbered instalments were written by JPop4Life, and even-numbered instalments were written by Darkling.

You can find out more about Kana: WAFFO! at the 'Fan Fiction' board at The Anime Place:

forums. theanimeplace. com (**remove spaces**)

* * *

**24. **

I stare at the phone. It's the same ritual every day. I've come to think of it as the Taka Todo Brotherliness Challenge.

And today, like so many other days, I flunk it miserably.

I sigh heavily, walking past the phone and heading upstairs. Why is it so hard? Why can't I just... pick the darn thing _up_ and call her?

_Hey, Kana, how's things? I haven't seen you for a while. How about I drop by sometime and we go get something to eat? Sound good?_

How hard is it to say that?

I skulk into my room and slump down at the desk. I have study to do, but I can't seem to find any motivation at the moment. Instead I just prop my elbows on the desk and bury my face in my hands.

Kana.

You haven't really changed, have you? Just because you _look_ different doesn't mean you _are_ different...

_But she _acts _different now!_

I sit up as the thought flashes through my head. She does. She even _talks_ differently these days. She... she doesn't seem the same anymore. She's not the shy Kana that she used to be...

_And so? What now? Are you just going to give up on her because she doesn't make you feel _special _anymore?_

"Shut up!" I snarl to myself. "Just shut up! That's not it at all! I... I don't love Kana just because she _needs_ me. I... I'm not that shall--"

_Bro... hold my hand like you did before._

_Bro, I want you to come see me again._

_I love you, Bro..._

Or am I?

* * *

**25. **

It's just another day like any other day.

I'm here in my room, doing nothing in particular. Nothing has changed. We haven't seen each other in a while, and the thought of it still weighs on my mind.

"How long has it been?" I wonder.

I continue to stare out the window.

"I should just go there," I say to myself. "It's not like I'm not welcome. I've been there plenty of times. I should be able... I should just..."

I stare at the blue sky. It invites me to walk out into it. It's telling me I should go.

_I have to do something. Nothing will change if I just don't go there and do it._

I leave my place and finally decide to take some action.

-----

I walk, I ride the train and I walk some more. All the time I'm thinking about what I'm going to say when I finally get there.

"Hey! Long time no see--"

_No..._

"I was just walking around and--"

_That's no good either._

"Surprise! I thought that--"

_Definitely not that._

But it seems I've run out of time. I'm already standing outside the door. I just seem to stare at the handle until the door suddenly swings open.

"Um!"

"Hi, Bro... How are you?" I ask.

"W-what brings you here, Kana?" he asks.

* * *

**26. **

"I, um... Can I... can I talk to you... Bro?" I stammer, looking at him as he stands there in the doorway.

"Sure," he says, sounding puzzled. "Come on in. Do you want some tea or something? You look hot."

"Well, maybe a little..." I say, as he steps back and lets me walk in past him. "Tea... tea would be good, if it's not too much trouble."

"It's no trouble at all," he assures me, then waves his arm in the direction of the living room. "Take a seat."

"Right..."

I slip my hand into my pocket, closing my fingers over the little box nestled in there. I clutch it for a moment, whispering a silent prayer and wishing my heart would just stop pounding. Am I right? Did I make the right decision?

Bro joins me in the living room a few moments later. He puts a glass of iced tea in front of me, and sits down beside me. He doesn't look at me as he asks, "So, what did you want to talk about, Kana?"

"Um, I..." I reach out and cradle my glass in both hands, forcing my fingers to tighten around it so they won't tremble as much. "The, the other day, a customer walked into the store. He was a regular a while back, but then he took some time off from university and didn't need to buy textbooks for a while..."

"I see." Bro takes a sip from his glass, and I do the same, awkwardly, thankful for the chance to stop talking for a moment.

"He came up to the counter with some books, and I rang them up for him. And then he... he looked at me, like he was confused, and he said...

"'Hey, what happened to that girl who used to work here?'

"'Pardon me?' I asked.

"'That other girl. You know, the pretty one.'

"And I just stared at him. I... I don't think I know who I _am_ anymore, Bro. I... I... Why won't you _look_ at me?" I break off, choking. "What's... what's wrong with me? I've changed; is that it? Do I... do I even _like_ who I've become? Do... _you_?"

"Kana." He turns to look at me now, reaching out gently to guide my hands to put my glass down. "Kana, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What's important is what makes _you_ happy--"

"It makes me happy when you _look_ at me!" I sob. "When I... when I know that you _love_ me! If I can't see your eyes, I can't see anything. I might as well be blind!"

His grip on my hands tightens. "You know I love you," he says, gently. "What makes you happy makes _me_ happy."

I look into his eyes, sniffling. His brow is creased, but there's a tentative smile on his face. He's trying to encourage me. He's _here_ for me. He...

He _does_ still love me.

"I'll... I'll be right back, Bro." I let go of his hands and get up from the couch. "I just... I need to fix... my eyes..."

I stumble to the ground floor bathroom and stare into the mirror. My hand slips into my pocket and closes around the little case there. I went to the optometrist's last week and I gave them new instructions. My replacement lenses arrived yesterday.

"Bro," I whisper, staring into my brown eyes in the mirror. "You were right. This... this isn't who I am."

* * *

**27. **

I slip the box into my pocket and head back to the living room. I walk up behind Bro as he drinks his iced tea.

"Sorry I took so long, Bro."

He turns around.

"Urmph!"

_-psssttt- _

"Aaahhhhhh!"

A spray of iced tea comes flying into my face and hair.

He panics. "Kana! I'm sorry! A-- um...are you ok? Let me get you a towel."

Bro quickly rushes back into the kitchen. I steady myself and wait for him. He returns quickly and hands me the towel. I try to wipe my face and clothes free from iced tea.

"I'm so sorry, Kana," he apologizes again.

"I-it's okay. Um... surprise?"

"I'll say. I didn't expect you to walk out with glasses on."

"Well, I didn't expect you would end up spitting all over me."

"I'm sorry, Kana. Surprises and fluids have never gone well toegther for me. Here."

He takes my glasses so I can finish wiping my face. I keep looking at him as he inspects them. There's nothing special to them, really. They're lightweight and have just a little style to them.

"You want to take a bath?" he suggests.

"Yeah... that would be nice. Thank you, Bro."

"It's the least I can do. I'll get the bath started."

Bro and I head upstairs. He starts the bath while I go to my old room and grab a change of clothes.

"Well... it's a good thing I still have this to wear here."

_-knock knock- _

"Kana? The bath is ready," he says behind the door.

"Okay... Be there in a sec."

I wash my face and hair before I soak in the tub.

_What does it mean? Why did he react like that? I thought it would make him happy._

…

…

…

_What am I trying to accomplish?_

* * *

**28. **

The shower turns off, and I hear a splashing sound as Kana climbs into the bath. I'm standing in the bathroom entranceway, looking at the neatly folded pile of Kana's tea-spattered clothes.

I chuckle to myself. What _is_ it with naked Kana and clothes that aren't quite dry? The situation feels familiar, that's all--

I pause as I pick up Kana's skirt and blouse. I stare at what's underneath, my heart aching a little.

Kana's panties, and her bra.

I'm suddenly very aware that Kana is naked in there. She's not wearing anything. I even remember these panties; I remember helping her to take them off...

_Gotta get out of here!_

Draping Kana's blouse and skirt over my arm, I whirl around too fast. The hem of Kana's skirt sweeps across the bench, and Kana's new glasses go flying to the floor with a loud clatter.

There's a sudden sloshing of water from the bathroom. "Bro?" Kana calls out. "Is that you?"

_Busted!_

"Y-yeah, it's me," I confirm. "I just wanted to rinse your clothes before the stain sets or something. I figured I'd wash them under the tap and pop them in the dryer for you."

"You don't have to," Kana says. "It's just tea. I can wash them at home later."

"You... you sure?" I ask. "It's no trouble, and since you're in the bath anyway..."

I hear more splashing from the bathroom, then Kana's silhouette appears in the frosted glass of the bathroom door. She opens the door a crack and peers out, her hair wet.

"Bro, are you just making excuses to stay here and peep at me?" she teases.

"_What_?" I sputter, pulling Kana's clothes up to my chest. "No! N-no! I was just looking-- I, I mean, I saw your panties and-- Um... No! No peeping at all. Not a bit."

Kana just sticks her small pink tongue out at me. "Oniichan... ecchi!" she laughs, and shuts the door again. "I won't be long, Bro!"

"Um, good," I say, wiping the sweat from my brow. "Take as long as you... as you need..."

Feeling like I've just been granted a stay of execution, I turn to go. Then I notice Kana's glasses still lying there on the floor. I crouch down and pick them up. They're nice - simple, but stylish. They suit Kana. She just surprised me when she came out wearing them, that's all.

I straighten up and place the glasses back on the counter. Kana's purse and keys are there as well, and the hard case for her glasses. There are also two smaller cases for contact lenses.

_Why two?_ I wonder. _Maybe her new set came in before she could cancel her prescription?_

It's Kana's business, anyway, not mine. I take Kana's clothes and head downstairs.

* * *

**29. **

I'm waiting in the living room for Kana. Only the sounds of splashing water echo through the house, its gentle noise trying to comfort my shattered composure.

_But I still feel like a baka..._

So I just sit on the couch, waiting for Kana to announce my sentence.

-----

"Ah... much better."

Kana walks into the living room, fully dressed, with a towel wrapping up her hair.

"Ano... I'm really sorry, Kana."

"Hehe... I know you are, Bro. But, I'm going to let you make it up to me."

_Uh oh... this can't be good._

Kana continues. "First..."

_First? Aw... crap._

"...do you mind telling me what happened?"

_-gulp- _

"Well...you see. Y-you went to the bathroom and you were doing something and then I went to get a drink and um... and um... you kinda surprised me and I don't really know why but... um--"

"What took you by surprise?"

"Well...your eyes-- glasses. Your eye,s I mean glasses covering-- I mean over your eyes and I didn't expect... to... to--"

"To spit all over me?" Kana suggests.

"I'm really sorry, Kana. I'm really sor--"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Kana?"

"I'm sorry, Bro. But I've never seen you so flustered before. And your face is pretty red too."

I cover my face in embarrassment. Kana let me run my mouth like that, making a fool of myself.

"Now we're almost even, Bro."

"Almost...?"

"Now... I'm going to let you treat me out."

I start to calm down at a reasonable request.

"Treat you, huh? Where to?"

"Let's see... I like ice cream, or maybe cake and kohi. Hmmmm... maybe..."

Kana looks in my direction.

"...maybe you should decide. You're treating me, after all."

"Ah... I see."

I ponder a few places in my mind.

_I can take her to an ice cream parlor, that new Cheesecake Factory or maybe just some place with tons of desserts._

I make up my mind.

"Well, Kana...let's go to--"


	6. 30 to 34

**Looking for Kana's Eyes, parts 30 - 34**

This story was written online as part of the Kana: WAFFO! (Write A Fun Fanfic Online) project. Odd-numbered instalments were written by JPop4Life, and even-numbered instalments were written by Darkling.

You can find out more about Kana: WAFFO! at the 'Fan Fiction' board at The Anime Place:

forums. theanimeplace. com (**remove spaces**)

* * *

**30. **

"Here we are. 1001 Delights!"

"Do they really have a thousand and one flavours, Bro?" Kana asks, looking up at the store's marquee in wonder. "It seems like an awful lot..."

"Nah!" I laugh. "It's just a fun name. They've really only got forty or fifty different varieties."

"It still sounds like a lot to me," Kana marvels.

"You think it sounds like a lot now," I tell her. "Wait until you have to choose _between_ them! Come on, Kana."

We step into the store. The interior is bright and cool, decorated in bright colours.

"Hi! Welcome to 1001 Delights!" the girl behind the counter greets us. "What can I get for you today?"

"We're still just looking, thank you," I tell her, as Kana steps forward and peers at the containers of ice cream in the display.

"Well, we have a special on our Triple Treat Sundaes today - three scoops of ice cream, plus whatever toppings and syrups you would like. Please consider it."

"We will," I say, nodding at the girl with a smile. She's kind of pretty in her short uniform and funny hat. "So, Kana," I ask, moving up behind her, "anything catch your eye?"

"Why do they all have such long names?" Kana wonders, peering into the display through her glasses. "_Fully Loaded Rocky Road_? _Cutie Beauty Tutti Frutti_?"

"It's a capability test," I tell her. "The ice cream here is so good that you have to be able to repeat the names without hesitation, or you don't get any."

"Even _Chocolate Chippy Marzipany Hazelnutty Goodness_?" Kana asks. "Exams at high school weren't this hard!"

"Ah, come on, it's fun," I say, encouragingly. "Do you think you'd like one of those sundaes the girl was talking about? And something to drink?"

"I think you might end up having to hire a wheelbarrow to cart me home," Kana says, looking out across the ice cream parlour to where another couple are struggling through two huge triple sundaes. "Maybe we could share one?"

"Sounds good," I agree. "I want an iced coffee; they're really good here. What flavours should we get in our sundae?"

Kana turns back to the display, the bright lights reflecting off the lenses of her glasses. "Let's see..."

* * *

**31. **

"...a scoop of Mocha Almond Fudge Swirl, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and... Frosty Fruity Very Berry Bits please."

-----

"Mmmm... oishii!" I say.

"It sure was, Kana," Bro says, rubbing his belly.

We sigh at the satisfaction of our snack. I watch Bro as he finishes the rest of his iced kohi before we set out.

"So, Kana..."

"Nani, Bro?"

"I like your new glasses."

"Sou ka?"

"Yea... I like the way they make you look. It's... comforting."

"I'm glad, Bro..."

-----

The days go on by. I work, shop, eat... Everything goes smoothly. I find that glasses are easier to maintain than contacts. I don't have to take so much time putting them in, taking them out, cleaning them, etc.

However, glasses do bring new challenges. If they slip down on my face I have to adjust them, or sometimes they get knocked off my face.

But people have noticed it, and some do like the way they look on me.

_Especially him._

-----

The day is over and I'm turning in for the night. I take off my glasses and set them on the table next to me and turn off the lamp.

_-click- _

…

…

…

_-sigh- _

* * *

**32. **

"Kana..."

"Eh?" I open my eyes, looking around in confusion. I'm standing in an ice cream parlour, with bookshelves everywhere. Tendrils of mist curl around my feet and ankles, lazily wafting through the room.

"Kana, what do you think you're doing?"

Who's talking to me? The voice seems to be coming from in front of me, through the forest of bookcases. I push my way forward. Sometimes I have to turn sideways and hold my breath to slip through. The buttons on my white blouse get caught, and one of them tears off. I can't find it in the mist. I'll have to sew on a replacement later, when I get home.

"Who are _you_ to talk? Miss Geekier-than-thou?"

"I _don't_ look geeky!"

"Everyone who wears glasses looks geeky. You know they do!"

"You... you just be quiet! That's not true! That's not true at all!"

The voices are closer now. I'm on my hands and knees, crawling through the mist. I squeeze through a gap in the bookshelves, and I'm there. I've found them.

They're both me.

The one on the left is me, wearing a pale pink knitted cardigan and a sensible long skirt. My glasses are perched on her nose. The one on the right is also me, but wearing my dark blue jacket over a pink t-shirt and jeans. She's not wearing glasses.

Behind them is a big rack of eyeglasses, and the big machine that the optometrist used to test my eyes, months ago. Two eye charts hang in mid-air, just floating there.

"And... and what about you?" Glasses Kana retorts. "Pretending to be something you're not! Thinking people will _like_ you more just because your eyes are different! How stupid was that?"

"It wasn't stupid!" the other Kana protests. "It worked, didn't it? People didn't stare at me anymore! They--"

"They didn't notice you at _all_!"

"That's not what this is about! I'm not egotistical enough to _want_ people to stare at me! I don't like it! I just... I just want to be normal!"

"Um... hello?" I ask, as I step closer to the two of them. "Can I... can I say something, please?"

They don't notice me. They just keep arguing, even as I walk right between them. Glasses Kana on the left. And... brown-eyed Kana on the right. She must be wearing my contact lenses.

"It's about Bro, isn't it?" Brown-eyed Kana says, suddenly. "You're doing this because _he_ likes them! You're not doing it for yourself at all! Contacts are so much easier to wear!"

"Well, yes," Glasses Kana admits, a bit bashfully. "I do like it when Bro approves of what I do..."

"You can't do everything in your life for Bro!"

"Why not?"

"Because _we left him_!" Brown-eyed Kana yells. "It's over!"

"No!" Glasses Kana wails. "No, it's not over, it's never over!"

I walk past the two of them and approach the display. There are three glass boxes on the counter. In the leftmost one are a pair of glasses. In the rightmost one, brown-tinted contacts.

I look back over my shoulder at the two Kanas arguing with each other. Glasses Kana is in tears. Brown-eyed Kana is looking away, pretending not to care - trying to be cool. But she's upset too. She's too sensitive not to be affected by the situation.

I have to end this.

In the middle glass box is the answer. I reach through the glass and pick up the tiny box, and prise it open.

I dab my forefingers inside the case and bring them up to my eyes. Two tiny hemispheres of clear plastic - with no colour, no tint. I take a deep breath and push them into my eyes.

The two Kanas vanish. The bookshelves around me start to dissolve, and I see Bro standing over by the ice cream counter, waiting for me. He wants to buy me another Triple Treat sundae. I laugh and start running.

_Bro... I'm happy. I can be me, I can do what _I _want... and you'll be okay with that, won't you? You've always just wanted me to be happy..._

-----

I sit up in bed, my eyes flaring wide open in the gloom. I stare around the apartment at the fuzzy, indistinct shapes everywhere. But at the same time, everything suddenly seems very clear.

* * *

**33. **

It's been a while since I've been here. The warm sun, the cool breeze and the sound of flowing water.

I'm at the river where I was lost so many years ago. Bro found me that day and, from then on, everything changed. So much has happened over the years... and things continue to happen.

Things happen for a reason. People do things for a certain reason...

…and with these reasons, we decide our new paths.

I stand next to the flowing water and test it with my fingers.

"Ah! It's cold."

I smile, looking into the river. Seeing the colorful fish and discolored rocks. Everything has its own look. Everything is so clear...

…everything has its own beauty.

I stand up, brushing off my skirt, looking at my surroundings.

_Ten years,_ I think.

Who knew my life would have changed so much here on that day?

_Yup, this is where it all began..._

…

…

…

_And this is where--_

"Kana."

I smile as I turn around, hearing his voice...

"Oniichan!"

* * *

**34. **

He's finished spreading out the picnic blanket on one of the wooden tables. These tables weren't here the last time, I don't think - but they're not _new_, either. It's strange how the years get away from us, Bro. Things change around us, but we're so busy staring straight ahead that we don't even notice until we stop, and pause, and look.

"Mmm, yummy!" I say as I walk over. I slept over at the house so we could wake up early and make our bento lunch together - fried chicken and octopus-shaped wieners and rolled omelette. There's also rice and salad in little compartments, and some pieces of apple that I carved into rabbits. It all looks so good.

The train ride out here didn't take as long as I remembered. Maybe it's because I was smaller then, so time seemed a lot bigger to me? A few hours seems like a much longer time to an eight-year-old than it does to an adult.

"I'm growing up," I murmur, looking down at the two bento boxes. I sit down across from Bro as he pulls two bottles of tea from the insulated bag in his backpack.

There's such a variety of food here, all nestled in the sections of the black plastic boxes. I remember when I only wanted to eat really simple things, like oyako-don. A few ingredients, simply prepared.

The simple things do still have their appeal. I still like oyako-don, especially from the donburi place around the corner from my shop. But sometimes it's good to have a lot of different things to enjoy in one meal, too.

Bro taught me that. When I was hungry, Bro shared with me.

He's looking at me now, a little confused and a lot impatient. "Ready to eat, Kana?" he asks. He must be hungry; he's been lugging that pack all the way up the mountain.

"Itadakimasu!" I say, bowing my head briefly before reaching for my chopsticks.

"Itadakimasu," he agrees, sounding almost relieved. "Mmm, these sausages look great. Takes me back to the old days, when I was a kid."

"It's a lot like that day a long time ago, isn't it?" I ask. "Even our lunches are almost the same."

He shrugs, his mouth full of rice. "I don't really remember. I just remember Kana, the amateur bee-keeper."

I laugh and cough up some omelette. "I'm sorry, Bro. I... I don't even remember what I was trying to-- Oh?"

A drop of rain spatters on the table between us. I shoot a glance up at the sky, which is still mostly blue, except for a patch of grey cloud that's crept up on us unawares.

"It'll be okay, Kana," Bro reassures me. "The forecast said there might be a couple of brief showers, but nothing too heav-- Damn!"

The rain picks up, slashing down at us.

"Move, Kana!" Bro yells, slamming the lids down on our bento boxes and grabbing them as he runs for the small shelter nearby. Giggling, I join him, leaping and bounding to keep up with him. We scramble underneath the shelter and collapse, panting, against the back wall.

"Sure, Bro," I say, between gasps. "Brief showers, nothing too heavy. Maybe we can swim back home."

"It'll pass," he growls, looking out at the distant picnic table where our blanket is getting soaked. Rain plinks into the open tea bottles and streams down the clear plastic. I can see small puddles already forming on the paving stones. I can see the waterfall in the distance, and the forest we walked through to get here. I can see...

…everything.

And it's because of you, Bro. You were the one who pushed me, who told me I needed new eyes. And through every step, you were there supporting me as I looked for the answer. You always wanted what was best for me.

Other things in my life may have been out of focus, but your concern and care - your _love_ for me - has always been clear.

I move closer to Bro's side and slip my arm into his. I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Hey! Kana...?" he asks, jerking slightly in surprise.

"Just till it stops," I say blissfully, nuzzling my cheek against his damp shirt.

"Oh. Well... okay, I guess," he says.

I smile as we watch the rain together, waiting for it to end. Then we can go back out there again. I can see the world through my new eyes, with the brother I love at my side.

* * *

**Epilogue: A Little Mischief **

It's been several weeks since that day. I look at myself in the mirror every morning and smile. All of my beauty shows. It's not hidden behind frames or lenses. Nor is it distorted by my once fuzzy sight.

The store is closed for today. The bright shining sun invites me out for some fun. Bro is stuck at the university today, so I've decided I'm going out on my own. I've already gotten my train ticket and my map ready for today.

I'm going sight seeing. To look at all the beautiful things in the world. To see amazing shapes and colors. To observe vast lands and wonderful scenery.

I open the case and begin to put on my contacts.

_I'm excited. No one knows me there. I'm sure I'll meet some great people and see many interesting things. And they won't know--_

I pause my thinking, leaning forward to put the last contact in. After it's in, I look at myself in the mirror and--

"I like the way you look, Kana," I say to my mirror image. "You have such lovely eyes. They're so..."

…

…

…

"...normal."

I grab my things and walk outside to a place unknown.

_Hehe... gomen, oniichan,_ I think to myself.

"Well... just a little." :P


End file.
